Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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