I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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