STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need water and some morals
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
