why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
