as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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