Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A bitchslap is in order.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
