the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
