I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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