The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
