Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
