i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
