I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
