there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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