Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
