and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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