Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
