Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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