dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
