Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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