hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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