someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
