is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
