Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
