Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
