Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
