just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
