She said her name was "party"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
