So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I need to stop coming to work sober
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
