The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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