i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
