i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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