would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
