I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
