do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
