I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
