suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
