he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
