Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
