hotel room ftw
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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