Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
