Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Mom said you looked used
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
