Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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