I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
