it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
