Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
