I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
