This girl is more easily done than said...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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