Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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