The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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