You really coming over, don't trick.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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